Pride and Prejudice

October 25, 2011 § Leave a comment

I’ve worked really hard for a long time. I’ve worked multiple jobs, I went to school, I volunteer, I passed the bar exam. I sort of thought that at this time in my life I would have a job that could pay the bills and where I could gain some good experience. I thought I would at least be in an office somewhere, filing papers or something.

It’s not something that’s easy to admit, but I’m a fairly proud person. I can’t help it. I do think that there are some jobs that are beneath me, so to speak. Not that I think there is some moral failing on the part of people who do mindless jobs. It’s just that I really believe I have a lot more to give.

That sounds so pretentious and elitist, but I’m trying to be candid.

Ideally, I’m looking for a job in the nonprofit sector, ideally outside of Kansas. Which is good, actually, because there aren’t a lot of nonprofits around here who need a writer or policy wonk, and even fewer who don’t care if you’ve accepted Jesus as your personal lord and savior. But I have a wonderful partner who has a job here, and I need to start paying down my student loans. So I’ve had to look for jobs around here.

So far, I’ve been applying for administrative assistant positions. I am way overqualified for these positions, but it would take some pressure off the household budget and we could start saving so we can move way for good.

These, as demonstrated by the mere existence of this blog, have not panned out. So I went to a temp agency. Which I was totally not thrilled about, but it had to be done. I thought that would lead to some sort of employment. But that, too, has yet to show any results.

Yesterday, I did something that I never thought I would have to do after I earned my law degree. I applied to work at Hastings. Le sigh. I must be desperate.

I know I should have done that months ago. I just really thought something else would come up. For the sake of my sanity, I had to believe that. I’m so afraid that I’ll get stuck in that job forever, and I’ll be that middle-aged woman who still wears a uniform to work. That is unimaginably terrifying.

I basically tried everything I could think of to avoid going into retail. I even opened an Etsy store. But that is the situation I find myself in. And really, I would be thrilled to sell books at Hastings at this point, even if 50 percent of those books are Bibles and other Christian fiction.

But more importantly, maybe I can stop seeing myself as above the fray and learn a little humility.

Featured image credit: coolinsights

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